Wes Kao

Quotes are word for word from the source.

• Cost of tangents

  “By mentioning the cost of going on a tangent, you remind them that the tangent is not free.”

  Our noteShe explains the psychology of making the time cost of a meeting explicit to keep participants focused.

• Over-respecting customers

  “There is such a thing as respecting the customer's agency too much.”

  Our noteShe warns against overcompensating to avoid being perceived as pushy.

• Productive Conflict

  “It takes courage to engage in productive conflict. Your customer benefits when you are brave enough to speak up, respectfully disagree, and share information that may be at odds with their current knowledge.”

  Our noteThe long-term benefits of having difficult but necessary conversations with customers.

• Small signals matter

  “The way you come across for seemingly small things - like scheduling a meeting - impacts the way you're viewed by others. They are tacit clues that indicate your finesse , self-awareness, and level of judgment.”

  Our noteWes emphasizes how small interactions build a professional's reputation.

• The upside of politeness

  “There's a lot of upside to erring on the side of being more polite. There's a lot of downside to misreading a situation and coming across as entitled.”

  Our noteWes explains why being overly polite is safer than appearing entitled in business communications.

• Protecting the sale

  “It's simply not worth decreasing the chances of closing a sale if we might start off on the wrong foot.”

  Our noteWes explains why she avoids using automated links if it might offend a high-profile customer.

• Maintaining equal footing

  “In general, I tell my team to assume you're more equals than not equals because you don't want to give away your power unnecessarily.”

  Our noteWes advises on how to balance respect with professional confidence.

• Responsibility to Promote

  “I believe it's every operator's responsibility to invest in learning how to try to have your outsides match your insides.”

  Our noteWes argues that high performers must learn to communicate their value.

• Take the reins

  “No one is as invested in your success as you are. Everyone else is busy with their existing job, so embrace that you'll need to take the reins.”

  Our noteWes explains why new hires must manage their own onboarding process.

• Acknowledging effort correctly

  “Many managers go awry when they want to acknowledge effort, but they accidentally compliment the work product itself. This sends mixed signals. Don't do that.”

  Our noteWes warns against confusing effort with the quality of the final product.

• Pain vs Growth

  “We have to stop blindly equating pain with growth, because sometimes pain does lead to growth, but other times, it's a sign the environment you're in is a bad fit.”

  Our noteWes explains why enduring pain isn't always a sign of productive personal development.

• Keep stories short

  “Most founders and leaders should tell short stories where the narrative arc is a few minutes long at most.”

  Our noteWes advises leaders to avoid long, complex narrative structures in business settings.

• Definition of finesse

  “Finesse is the skill of interacting with other humans in a way that gets the outcome you're looking for, despite situations that have grey area and a range of potential outcomes.”

  Our noteWes defines finesse as a specific type of interpersonal skill for complex situations.

• Teaching team judgment

  “Every leader should actively look for opportunities to teach their team judgment. If you're not doing this, you're barely scratching the surface on what "learning on the job" means”

  Our noteWes emphasizes the leader's role in developing their team's decision-making skills.

• Learning from practice

  “There are too many variables to think about finesse in abstract terms. Focus on learning from real-life scenarios you're encountering at work.”

  Our noteWes explains why finesse cannot be taught as a purely theoretical concept.

• Prioritize the Good Stuff

  “Keep the backstory short, so you save time for the good stuff.”

  Our noteA reminder to focus on results and actions rather than long introductions.

• Prioritize your judgment

  “Your script should serve you, not the other way around. Let yourself deviate, and always use your judgment.”

  Our noteWes concludes that personal judgment should always override a script.

• Avoid performative defensiveness

  “You should avoid having an overly obvious, performative CYA vibe. It makes you seem nervous and afraid. It prevents your manager from being able to speak plainly to you.”

  Our noteWes discusses why constant self-protection in communication backfires.

• Feedback loops

  “If you only say yes or no to ideas, your team will keep coming back to you with a similar level of ideas. They won't know why a strategic proposal worked or didn't.”

  Our noteWes discusses the importance of sharing the rationale behind decisions.

• Concise writing

  “Take 3 minutes to delete these words and improve your writing forever”

  Our noteAdvice on how to immediately improve the quality of business communication.

• The 90 percent rule

  “The key is to edit so the final version is 90% about the other person, so try to give them at least one reason to say yes to you.”

  Our noteWes provides a specific ratio for framing requests to increase the chance of success.

• Strategic Word Order

  “Notice when we put the positive stuff AFTER the "but," you sound more positive while still getting your point across.”

  Our noteWes describes the psychological impact of changing the order of a sentence.

• Empathy in Strategy

  “I believe being able to empathize with different actors with different incentives allows me to get buy-in, weigh potential options, and strategize to make the most of what I'm working with.”

  Our noteWes explains how her diverse professional background helps her navigate complex business decisions.

• Focus on others

  “Before I mention an idea, I always ask myself, "How can I make this less about me? How can I make this more about the other person?”

  Our noteWes shares her personal mantra for preparing a pitch or request.